Chocolate yoga

I feel like this is a bit of a confession. Every morning since I've had Tabitha, I eat chocolate with a cup of tea in the morning. And you know what, I'm kind of unrepentant.

For one thing it's either good quality dark chocolate, or raw chocolate made by my husband (Food of the Gods). To be honest, being married to a chocolatier means that chocolate is a part of my life (for better or for worse).

It all started because I would be up really early with Tabitha, five in the morning was about average and it was too early for breakfast. I wanted to have enough energy to do some yoga and so a bit of chocolate was a pretty good solution. I was able to do some stretching while she rolled around and I kept going until it was a more normal time to eat.

Time has moved on though and Tabitha sleeps in longer, but my chocolate ritual has continued. 

Fitting my stretches in around shower time, nappy changes and baby breakfast is like some sort of multidimensional puzzle. Sometimes I manage to get my mat out and sometimes the magic happens! The baby, cat, dogs and husband all manage to entertain themselves for long enough for me to breathe, recenter and remember what it feels like to open and stretch.

But, this tends to be the exception rather than the rule and my chocolate habit feels almost like yoga, taking me to that place of bliss and calm and ready for morning baby madness!

The thing is though, I watch my rituals and challenge my behaviour. If you have read any Castaneda, then you will know what it means to stalk yourself. 

I feel that as a yogi in training, I should be drinking green smoothies first thing. Avoiding caffeine and living a 'pure' life. I certainly should not be 'addicted' or 'dependent' on anything.

But, there is a part of me that is rebellious and childlike and simply puts on the brakes! I want to live a full and rich life, not an austere one.

So, I'm at a bit of an impasse. Ive decided not to dictate to myself one way or another, but to observe myself with kindness. It's easy to beat yourself up and make yourself miserable over little things,  but sometimes it's the energy associated with the act rather than the act itself that's the problem.

I think that I will know when the time is right to change my morning habit. And when I do, it won't be difficult. It will just feel like the right thing to do. 

So, for now, my chocolate ritual is my morning yoga. I eat with mindfulness and gratitude that I get to spend another day in a beautiful place, with my gorgeous family and if I get to do some sun salutations then that's even better.

The business of love

It's time for Valentine's and as a card maker you would think this would be a great opportunity to shout about my work and get lots made.

   

Truth is, I only managed to get four cards done in time and when I say 'in time' I mean this week and that's not really enough time for anyone to order one! 

At the moment I am sitting with my little girl on my lap. She's asleep (phew!) but while this gives me a while to write it doesn't give me the opportunity to create.

I recently joined a website called All by Mama, which is basically an Etsy for mums and I was asked to include a 'tip' for other mums.

I wrote my advice a little smugly, feeling like I had achieved something: "I think my best advice is to simply get on and do it! It's surprising how little bits of work can add up to something quite big. I think if you are passionate about your work then you will find a way."

And now I read it and go 'yes!' that's right, but I have been so busy just getting on and doing it that I didn't really plan ahead.

My new advice to me is to get a calendar and write down all the events of the year from Mothers Day up to Xmas and then plan backwards! 

Perhaps if I can sort that out then the rest will fall into place. 

Who knows? 

Being a time scarce mum has pushed me to be creative with any moments that I can squeeze in some creativity, but that doesn't come free of baggage. It comes accompanied with thoughts of 'shouldn't I be playing with her right now, or I shouldn't I be doing....' And I have to reassure myself that it's okay, I can do something I love, that and  the fact Tabitha needs to have her own space as much as I need mine.

And so I carry on. I might not be a perfectly organised but I am living a life full of love and that's something to be happy about.